Colorful Contradictions
by Suitslover14
Summary: Neal has many memories of different colors. But they always contradict each other, each one has a great memory and a terrible one. Starts with Red and ends with Purple. 7 chapters. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**Red.**

They had to get out, the sirens were blaring, roaring in Neal's ears. A warning, a beat, a clock. He heard the tick of the alarm. They had 30 seconds before security would breach the vault. He looked at her, meeting her ocean blue eyes. Kate nodded and Neal pulled open the air vent. He boosted her up, her red heels dangling from her hands as she used him as a jungle jim. He looked up to see her foot disappearing.

Neal smirked, straightened his jacket and slipped up to the vent, meeting the cool air like it was his home. They crawled through, pushing out the last vent, into the boiler room.

Kate nodded at Mozzie throwing the jeweled band at him.

"Here's the bracelet you wanted." She stated calmly, Neal looked her up and down. Appreciating the way the black jumpsuit fit her curves.

"Yeah, Mozz. That was a real challenge, I hope you like the reward." Neal winked, and took Kate's hand. Leading her back to their hotel room in Paris.

They return and Neal wastes no time. Kate doesn't either. Crawling towards each other, tigers ready to eat their prey. Their blue eyes pierce through the darkness, filling the air with arc-reactor electricity. Neal runs his fingers through his chestnut hair, moving towards the bed. She brushes away the raven lashes lingering on her cheeks. Kate opens her eyes and pounces. Both landing on the bed, pure animal desire. Red meets red in intertwined limbs, sharing love apart, they look out the window at the starry night. The Eiffel Tower in the background. Neal smiles, his lips twisting into a crooked smirk. He pulls out the anniversary gift from under his pillow. A beret, he lays it on his lover's head. She smiles, looking down, shy against Neal's gaze. She lays a hand on Neal's, pulling their fingers together.

"You did good today." She breathes, remembering the thrill that the heist had brought her.

"Couldn't have done it without you, Kate." Neal answers, eyes twinkling. They both know the diamond bracelet is stashed away with Mozzie. Out of sight. Nobody will ever know they took it.

"I love you." Neal promises.

"I love you too."

They're cozy as they lean against each other, body heat coating them in a cocoon. They fall asleep in a little hotel, off the streets of Paris. In love. Trusting. Falling into the bliss of engagement. A ruby ring on Kate's slim finger.

…..

Heat pushes against Neal's skin and he wants to run. Towards her, he will always go towards her. Kate, her name is his heartbeat. It gets quicker and he struggles to make his legs are iron, bolted to the ground, his arms liquid against his restraints. He has a hatred for Peter. Why won't he let him go? Why does he hold him back?

He watches in horror as the plane falls apart. the flames eating the frame. He sees raven hair floating in the wind and he holds his lunch in. He wishes he had been in there. He knows it wouldn't have changed anything. Other than him being dead too. But he still wishes it, wishes he held her hand at her last moments, wishes that his last sight would have been his fiance. The ring on her delicate, milk, finger. He cries on the inside, too in shock to let the real tears flow.

"No!" Neal yells, his heart shattering in that one word. He watches the red flames burn away, leaving ash and dust. The plane a distant object, blown away by the wind.

He's broken, he feels his soul leaving a shell behind, the breeze threatens to throw him down but Peter's holding him up. Neal melts a little, drawing back, shutting down. He doesn't want to believe it, it has to be a dream. God, he wishes it's a dream.

"No. Kate. Kate." He whispers, letting the tears roll down.

The event seeps in and a switch is turned on in his mind. An impulse shoots through his body, he has to do it. Find it. He needs it.

He wants to rummage through the remains, pull the frame apart. He wants to see the shining jewel. He knows Kate still wears it. He thinks he sees a shine and surges forward. Only to be yanked back, a dog on a leash. He bucks against his partner, anger flaring up. He just wants to find it. The reminder that he needs. But Peter still hold him. The plane explodes, smaller this time, a new crate opening into the ashy air. Peter gawks, stumbling back at the pressure.

Neal falls to the ground as Peter's arms tear away. Peter caught in awe at the wreckage. Neal kneels on the ground, face coated black in soot. Peter tries to look him in the eye but Neal evades, jaw set. Peters steps back, leaving the rabid man alone. Afraid to be bit.

He scrambles forward like a rat looking for cheese. He races past the firefighters and Peter goes after him. A surge of protectiveness keeping him going, even after his skin starts to heat up. He collides with his CI, taking him down.

Neal roars, obsessed, controlled. He needs to find it. It's all he'll have left when the scent of her shampoo fades away. When her photos rub off and all that's left is a shiny blank sheet of paper. When he can't hear her voice or paint her face.

The smoke swirls around them and Neal sees his holy grail. The brilliant ruby glints against the charred pavement. Neal's eyes set on it, tricking him into the night in Paris. The blackened sky is nightfall, the blue and red lights are the stars. He pulls himself out of the delusion, he can't get sucked in.

He stretches arms out wide, clutching the ring. His only reminder of the life he wanted. Marriage. Kate. The comfort of love. The life he had been promised since birth. A good one, one with his girl, one without law, one where he's not reminded of the days spent in orange. But he settles for letting Peter guide him back to his life in New York. Because a part of him knows that Peter will be there to pick up the pieces. Give him a life better than his own dream. Neal sighs and follows Peter, silent. He knows this is what he needs. He needs to let time fade away the gruesome past until Kate is just a ghost. Just a whistle in the wind. Gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N So here is the next installment to the fic, I hope you like it. Please review so I can gage the level of interest shown in these because I'm not too sure if I'm going to continue. Also if you have ideas for any of the upcoming colors I would love to hear them!**

**Orange.**

Orange wasn't a color to Neal but a feeling. Orange was his mother's smile, orange was pristine suits and fine wine, orange was Peter and Mozzie and El. Orange was Neal's favorite color, representing everything good in his life. He remembers the day it became that. morphing from pumpkins and candle flames to happy memories and ferris wheels.

_Neal walked into the theme park, slowly strolling on the cobblestone path. His blue eyes scanned the area, taking in the rides, the kids running about and his neighbor, Juliet. He had it bad for her, daydreaming about kissing her under the moon. He blushed and ducked down when the blonde lifted her head up, laughing at her friend's joke, a twinkle in her beautiful brown eyes. He needed her like air, needed to hear her laugh, be in her space, needed to love her, kiss her, be with her. But she was just his friend and Neal cursed himself for being so damn responsible, so damn smart and kind that it was impossible not to reserve him for friendzoning. _

_He walked up to her friend group, slipping between Tasha and Sophie. _

"_Hey Jules," He greeted her, big smile and wide baby eyes. _

_She glanced over at him, flipping her long blond hair over her shoulder, the orange ribbon in her hair drifting in the wind. She smiled at him with a passion Neal felt. He took a step back, afraid of this new feeling between them. She giggled at him and took his hand, her long slender fingers slipping through the gaps between his. _

"_Neal, let's go on the ferris wheel!" She screeched, racing between the crowd. Pulling Neal upright when he stumbled on a little girl. _

"_What about your friends?" He shouted, gasps coming quicker between his breaths. he welcomed the chill in the air that cooled his overheating cheeks. _

_Could she like him? Did she? Neal didn't know, he was only 14 and not too wise on what occurred between a girl and a guy to make her like him. _

"_Forget them! They'll be here tomorrow. I need to reserve you for tonight though." She said cryptically, a smirk appearing on her perfect freckled face. _

_Neal laughed and skidded to a stop when the reached the line. Juliet slipped the two blue tickets to the operator and took a seat on the rickety wheel. Neal joined her, pushing down butterflies and trying to convince himself that it was real. That the girl he had been pining over for the last several years had finally saw him as a potential date. He surreptitiously wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, throwing his arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him and he closed his eyes in pure bliss, the wheel slowly turning. Bringing them up to the top. _

_The view took Neal's breath away, the skyline lit up with brilliant hues of orange and yellow as the sunset. He sighed happily, glad to be with Juliet, watching the pure beauty that was his hometown. _

…_.._

Fevered dreams awaken him, silver bars trapping him in. An animal, a criminal, a beast. He's not allowed out even as his throat burns, his blue eyes turn red. He begs for water and is beaten by the guards. A taser whips in between the cage into his still feels the spark, feels the burning before the world faded to black. Still feels himself choking for air, hitting the cement bottom, blood dripping onto the ground. Forming rivers. Still can hear the cursing of the guard even as he's being lifted. As he's drifting away.

He wakes up later in the infirmary, orange jumpsuit dirtied with blood and charred with a taser burn. He tries to move but groans when he yanks against the handcuffs. A dog chained. But its not right, jails couldn't handcuff him. Hospitals could, Neal blinks, white bed, normal gown. His head aches, his lungs burn. He's thrown back into the fantasy a second later.

"Useless!" The doctor cries, thrusting a needle into the back of Neal's hand. Blood bubbles up and the man smacks Neal on his head. Brown hair flops in front of his face and Neal jerks back, surprised at its maroon tint. He coughs and sputters, each one depleting his air supply. Gray rings in his ears.

"Breathe Neal." Someone calls and Neal remembers how. Draws in a stale breath his hand flies up to hit a dome covering his nose. He's confused. A man leans over him concerned brown eyes peering.

He shuts his blue ones, reopening him to another scene. Another sickness. Another man. An evil doctor in the prison infirmary. Black eyes smile at him when he vomits, his lungs are drowning and he can feel it. Liquid sloshing in his lungs. Pneumonia, the answer fills his mind but he's too tired to care. Too tired to care that his lung is collapsing and he can't breathe. Too tired to register the needle slipped into his lungs, sucking out all the mucus stuck there. Weighing down his breaths.

He springs up, breaths deep, eyes wild. The room is tinted a clear blue and it takes Neal a moment to realize that his oxygen mask has been knocked askew and up in front of his eyes. He hears a chuckle and footsteps and whips around, scared. His gasps when he sees Peter and the man freezes.

"You okay, Neal?" He asks, his voice strained, raw from crying, from the nightmares. From coming to Neal's apartment and finding him on his bed, staring off, stuck in a hellish delusion.

"What happened?" Neal asked. Confused. Not knowing where he was, when he was.

"You have Pneumonia. I found you, brought you here."

For the first time Neal stops and looks around, actually seeing the room. He's in the hospital, clinical white bleaches the walls, chairs, clothing. Neal smiles, happy not to see the cement walls, the silver bars in the infirmary. He wasn't in prison, Peter wasn't the evil doctor. He was safe, fine and far away from the days he spent in orange.

He had a partner, Peter. And be would be just fine.

**A/N Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, once again please drop me a review I would love to receive feedback. Have a great Winter Break!**


	3. NOTICE

So I have decided to stop this project. I am not getting enough feedback to continue this fic and am considering taking a break from writing fanfiction all together. I just don't know if the energy I put into all my pieces is worth it or if people actually enjoy my writing. This isn't a plea for more reviews. I am not trying to guilt people into reviewing my stories. I just really need a break from this. Please don't feel like you have to review any of my writing unless you want to. I have half of the yellow chapter of this fic complete so if you want me to post that I will. I hope you all understand and thank you so much for reading this! I hope you all have a wonderful New Year and that the rest of your winter break is great.

Suitslover14


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